I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
