I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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