You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize