We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
