38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize