Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
