it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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