Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
No subtext here. People are naked.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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