i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
