so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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