summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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