this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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