I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think your dad took our porno
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
