I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize