we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
