I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize