it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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