someone threw a dead crab at me
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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