I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
