20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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