my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
This house was built for laser tag.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
