I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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