now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
