I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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