Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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