so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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