we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
