Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
