Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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