In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
