Please, let me fuck your mom
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize