There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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