3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
