i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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