You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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