I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
