The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
