Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
