Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize