Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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