so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
