nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
