and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
