It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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