it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
where am i from again
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
