he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
