does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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