I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
