Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
