I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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