I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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