I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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