it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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