i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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